Scarecrow
by Cobalite
Summary: On the night of Buffy's 17th birthday, Angel's not the one that loses his soul.


Author's Notes: Well, I just opened another huge can of worms with this one. God, sleep deprivation gives you the strangest ideas. Edispilf: Becoming is still pending, it will be out eventually, I swear. You will find this strange, but remember I am a B/A shipper at heart, and this shows it. Scarecrow is from Melissa Etheridge's album, Breakdown. I've written several stories based on this album, but this is the first that's made it to posting.

Scarecrow

By Cobalite Ice

Angel lay perfectly content, with Buffy asleep on his chest. Inside, Angelus breaks the last bond of Angel's control, and floats free of the body. He reaches for Angel to posses him as he did almost 300 years ago, and notices Buffy. An idea occurs to him. 'Wouldn't the Soul throw a fit if he had to face his true love?'

The immaterial Angelus instead touches Buffy, and her body absorbs him. She sits up, her Slayer soul battling the demon. "Oh god, oh god." She starts pulling her clothes, the only thought getting some distance between her and Angel before her soul finally loses the battle. She runs from the apartment, not even pausing to leave a note.

Hour later, Angel stirs. The first thing he becomes aware of it there is no longer a weight on his chest. He feels around the bed to see which side Buffy's rolled to. He opens his eyes, suddenly wide awake when he doesn't find her there

and looks around. He sits up in bed. He looks around the room again, but Buffy is nowhere to be seen.

"Don't panic." Angel frantically tells himself, unaware he is already far beyond panic. "She probably just went home to get ready for school. He checks the clock, which reads just after seven am. He picks up the phone and dials Buffy's number. 

Joyce answers. "Hello?"

Angel swallows. "Is Buffy there?"

"No, she spent the night at a friends house. Can I take a message?" Joyce is suspicious of a boy who would call this early.

'Calm, remain calm.' Angel pleads with himself. "No, it's okay. I can get the homework from someone else."

Joyce buys it and hangs up. Angel stares at the sun poking around his curtains edges. "Screw the sun. I have to get to the library." After dressing, he goes to the fridge to get something to eat. It then occurs to him that for the first time since he'd been turned, he wasn't hungry.

Xander walks in to the library. Giles looks up at him. "Well, the bus depot was a total washout. And may I say what a lovely place to spend the night. What a vibrant cross-section of Americana."

Giles has a worried expression on his face. "No vampires transporting boxes?"

"No, but a four-hundred-pound wino offered to wash my hair." Xander looks at everyone. "What's up? Where's Buffy?"

Willow shakes her head. "She never checked in."

Giles sighs. "If the bus depot is as empty as the... docks and the airport..."

Xander asks what everyone is thinking. "Do you think this Judge guy's already been assembled?"

"Yes."

"Then Buffy could be... Okay, we gotta find 'em." Xander thinks. " Um, we gotta go to that place, that, uh, that factory. That's where they're holed up, right?" He looks back at Willow and Jenny. "Let's go."

Cordelia gives him a look. "And do what? Besides be afraid and die."

Xander snipes right back at her. "Well, nobody's asking you to go, Cordelia. If the vampires need grooming tips we'll give you a call.

Giles tries to reason with Xander. "Cordelia has a point. Now, i-i-if Buffy and Angel were, were... harmed, then we don't stand to fare much better.

"Yeah? Well, those of us who were born with feelings are gonna do something about this."

"Xander." Jenny tries to stop him before he says something he regrets.

"No, Xander's right! My God, you people are all... Well, I'm upset, and I can't think of a mean word right now, but that's what you are, and we're going to the factory!" Willow starts out

"Yeah!" Xander follows her.

"She's not at the factory." Angel comes out of the stacks. 

Willow stops walking. "Angel!"

Xander sits down. "We were just going to rescue you two.

Willow throws Giles a look. "Well, some of us were."

Giles is indignant. "Well, I-I would have."

Jenny looks nervous. "Where's Buffy?"

Angel gets a panicked expression, but it passes quickly. "I had hoped she was here."

Giles shakes his head. "No."

Cordelia slides off the counter. " What happened?"

"The Judge, i-is he..." Giles starts to ask, and Angel cuts him off.

"He's active."

Giles whispers. " Oh, damn it. Why didn't you call? We, we, we thought..."

Angel covers, deciding not to let them know exactly what happened last night. "We went to my place to get out of the rain, but she was gone this morning. None of you have heard from of her?"

"The Judge, we, we must stop him." Giles is adamant.

Angel nods. "I know."

"In time, he won't need to even touch. The stronger he gets, he'll be able to reduce us to charcoal with a look. I better continue researching, must look for a weak spot. The rest of you should get to your classes."

"Yeah, I better go, too." Jenny stops on the way out to Giles. "I'll, uh, go on the 'Net and search for anything on the Judge."

"Thank you."

Xander passes by. "After classes I'll come back and help you research."

Cordelia pats him as she walks out. "Yeah, you might find something useful if it's in an 'I Can Read' book." Xander looks like he's ready to kill her.

Willow goes over to Angel. "You don't think Buffy would have gone after the Judge by herself, do you?"

"No, she'd know better than that. I hope." Angel goes into the stacks to find something. Jenny looks around the corner and watches him go.

Drusilla is laid out on her back on the big table. Spike wheels himself around to her. She looks up at the ceiling blissfully. "Are we feeling better, then?"

Drusilla sighs. " I'm naming all the stars."

"You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also, it's day."

"I can see them. But I've named them all the same name." Drusilla tilts her head to him. "And there's terrible confusion."

"Did you see any further? Do you know what happens to Angel?"

Buffy appears at a side door. "I don't think he's your biggest worry."

"You don't give up, do you?"

Buffy slowly comes over. "As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking, rolling the streets... I'll be around. Look over your shoulder. I'll be there."

"Uh, yeah. Slayer, um... look over *your* shoulder." Spike smiles as Buffy turns around, and the Judge puts his hand on her chest. "Hurts, doesn't it?"

Buffy looks back. "Well, you know, it kinda itches a little."

Spike motions to the Judge. "Don't just stand there. Burn her." 

Buffy shrugs. "Gee, maybe he's broken."

Spike turns to Drusilla. "What the hell is going on?" Drusilla's face takes on a look of realization.

Judge is confused, but comes to a decision. "This one... can no longer be burnt. She is clean." He removes his hand

Spike is enraged. "Clean? How can the bloody slayer be clean?

"There's no humanity in her." The Judge turns and goes.

Buffy faces Spike. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

Drusilla giggles. "Oh what fun. You switched."

"Switched what? Care to tell me what's going on, Slayer?" Spike rolls back to her.

"Buffy's not presently available. If you'd like to leave a message, I can make sure she gets it in hell." Buffy twirls a strand of hair. "Do you know what happens when you put a demon in a living Slayer's body? Let me tell you, she fought like hell before she went down."

Drusilla follows her with her gaze. "You've come home."

Spike shakes her. "It's the bloody Slayer, Dru. Snap out of it." Spike turns to face Buffy, and watches in shock as her face slowly becomes demonic. "What the hell! I can hear your heart beat."

Drusilla giggles. "Angelus."

Buffy smiles back at her. "Yeah, baby. I'm back."

Spike is in shock. "Is it really true?"

"It's really true." Buffy laughs and walks around the table.

"No more of this 'I've got a stake and I know how to use it' crap?" Spike follows him.

"What can I say, hmm?" Buffy strikes a match on the table. "I was going through a phase." She lights a cigarette.

"How did this happen?" The cigarette convinces Spike that somehow they're sire really has changed bodies.

"Seems that if Soulboy gets a happy, I can take control back. I woke up floating above him, and decided possessing his dear Buffy would cause more pain."

Drusilla walks on the table waving her arms. "Everything in my head is singing! We're family again." Buffy helps her off of the table. "We'll feed. Grrr. And we'll play." She leans in to Spike.

Spike is amazed. "I've got to tell you, it made me sick to my stomach seeing Angel being the Slayer's lap dog and knowing you were still in there."

Buffy growls and grabs Spike by the shirt. Then she kisses him on the forehead and steps back. Spike busts up laughing. Buffy and Drusilla join in. "Now it's four against one, which are the kind of odds I like to play."

Drusilla leans toward Buffy. "Psst. We're going to destroy the world. Want to come?"

Buffy plays with her cigarette. "Yeah. Destroying the world. Great. I'm really more interested in torturing the Soul."

Spike shrugs. "Well, he's *in* the world, so that should work out."

Buffy thinks. "Give me tonight. Hmm?"

"What do you mean?"

Buffy smiles. "Lay low for a night. I guarantee you by the time you go public he won't be anything resembling a threat."

"You've really got a yen to hurt him, haven't you?

"I had to share a body with that sap for over a hundred years. He let us feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive." Buffy shakes her head in disgust.

Cordelia walks by the library counter looking through a book. Xander is lying on top of the counter, also studying a book. Giles is in his office reading through yet another book. 

Willow talking to Angel on the phone. "Ok. No, no, she didn't, but I'm sure she'll... Well, Buffy probably has some plan, and she's trying to protect you. Well, I-I don't know what. I'm not in on the plan. It's her plan. No. Don't even say that! There is no way Buffy could be dead."

Xander looks up. "Say 'hi' for me."

"Yeah, of course we'll be here. Okay, bye." Willow hangs up and looks to Xander. "Say 'hi' for me?"

"What's the word?"

"He's checked every place he can think of. He even beat up Willy the snitch a couple of times. Buffy's vanished."

Giles tries to stay calm. "Is he gonna join us here?"

"Yeah. He's just stopping at home first."

Angel opens the door, comes in and closes it behind him. He walks over to the bed and

sees it's been made. One of his shirts is laid out on it. He goes over to the bed and reaches for the shirt. Behind him Buffy steps over to a statue, picks up a necklace hanging from it and puts it on. Angel turns and sees her. "Buffy," Angel said. "Where did you go?" 

"Been around," Buffy answered. 

"I was freaking out. You just disappeared," Angel said, watching her carefully. 

"What? I took off." 

"But you didn't say anything. You just left." 

"Yeah. Like I really wanted to stick around after that," Buffy said cruelly. 

"What?" Angel asked, confused. 

"Two hundred years of experience doesn't really change men in there twenties much. You got a lot to learn. Although I guess you proved that last night," Buffy told him. 

"What are you saying?" 

"Let's not make an issue out of it, ok? In fact, let's not talk about it at all. It happened," Buffy said. She turned to the door. 

"I…I don't understand. Was it m-me? Was I not good?" Angel asked growing even more confused. 

"You were great, really," Buffy laughed snidely. "I thought you were a pro." 

"How can you say this to me?" 

"Lighten up. It was a good time. It doesn't mean like we have to make a big deal." 

"It is a big deal!" 

"It's what?" Buffy asked. "Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies?" She laughed at him. "Come on, Angel. It's not like I've never been there before. I mean, I grew up a prep in central LA. What did you think we did for fun?" 

She reaches her hand up to his face and he jerks back. "Don't touch me."

Buffy shakes her finger at him. "I should've known you wouldn't be able to handle it."

Angel whispers quietly as Buffy heads towards the door. "I love you."

Buffy points coolly at him. "Love you, too." She turns away. "I'll call you." She goes out the door. Angel can only watch her go, extremely upset and confused. The only thought that surfaces in his shattered mind is, 'Why is she wearing my clothes?'

Willow drops her arms. "What about the Judge? Where do we stand?"

"On a pile of really boring books that say exactly the same thing."

"Lemme guess: 'no weapon forged.'"

Xander nods. "'It took an army.'"

"Yeah, where's an army when you need one?" Willow looks at Xander. "What?"

Xander looks thoughtful. "Whoa. Whoa! I... I think I'm having a thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a thought. Now I'm having a plan." The lights suddenly go out. "Now I'm having a wiggins."

"What's going on?"

"Let's get to the library."

Buffy appears behind them "Willow. Xander."

They turn to look. Xander looks relieved. "Buffy."

Willow lets out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "Thank God you're okay. Did you see Angel?"

"Yeah. What's up with the lights?"

Xander shrugs. "I don't know. Listen, I think I have an idea."

"Forget about that now. I... I got something to show you."

"Show us?"

Buffy nods. "Yeah. Xander, go get the others."

"Okay." Xander runs off

"And Willow. Come here."

Willow slowly walks toward her. "What is it, Buffy?"

"It's amazing."

Xander is running for the library. Suddenly he stops and turns around, realizing something is wrong.

Jenny appears in the hall opposite Buffy. She has been watching. "Willow, get away from her."

Willow stops and looks at her. " What?"

"Walk to me."

"What are you talking about? It's Buf..."

Buffy has sneaked up behind her and grabs her. Xander comes running through the door from the other hall. "Don't do that!"

"Oh, I think I do that."

"Buffy..."

Jenny draws her cross. "She's not Buffy anymore. Are you?"

"Wrong. I am Buffy." Buffy tightens hers grip on Willow. "But you should probably call me Elizabeth from now on. It'll make it easier to hate me."

Xander is in shock. "Oh, my God."

"I got a message for Angel."

Angel appears behind her. "Why don't you give it to me yourself?"

Elizabeth spins around with Willow to face him. "Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all our friends." She tightens hers grip on Willow even more and she lets out another pained yelp.

"This can't be you." Angel's face is expressionless, but beneath the surface his hurt is welling up.

Elizabeth gives him a look that says 'pathetic.' "Gee, we already covered that subject."

"Buffy, there must be some part of you inside that still remembers who you are."

Elizabeth shakes her head no. "Dream on, Soulboy."

Xander takes the cross from Jenny and starts toward Elizabeth. Elizabeth continues her tirade. "Your girlfriend is dead. You're all gonna join her."

Angel steps forward. "Leave Willow alone, and deal with me."

Elizabeth pretends to consider. "But she's so cute and helpless."

Xander gets closer and shoves the cross into Elizabeth' face from behind. She reels back and drops Willow. Willow cries out as she falls backward into Xander, and they collapse against the wall. Elizabeth turns to Jenny and wards her off with a hand as she starts to back down the hall.

When she reaches Angel she grabs him by the shoulders, and vamps out. Elizabeth whispers into his ear. "Things are about to get very interesting." She kisses him, shoves him into the wall and backs out the door. Willow and Xander are up again.

"Angel, you okay?" Xander shakes him.

Angel just stares at the door.

Xander stands while Willow and Cordelia sit at the table. Jenny is leaning against the shelves behind them. Giles paces. "And we're absolutely certain that, that Buffy has been turned?"

"Yeah, uh, we're all certain. Anyone not feeling certain here?" Xander asks the group.

Willow looks about ready to drop. "Giles, you wouldn't have believed her. She was so... she came here to kill us."

Cordelia decides to be blunt. "What are we gonna do?"

"I'm leaning towards blind panic myself."

Jenny reproves him. "Rupert, don't talk like that. The kids."

"I'm sorry. It's just that things are bad enough with the Judge here. Buffy crossing over to the other side... I-I-I wasn't prepared for that."

"None of us were." Jenny strokes his hand.

The camera pans over to Angel sitting at the table opposite Willow. "She's not a vampire."

"What?" Giles comes over to him.

"I said, she's not a vampire. I could here a heartbeat. It has to be some kind of possession." Angel looks down at the table. 

Willow notices and gets up to go to him. "Are you okay?" Angel shakes him head 'no'. Is there anything I can do?"

Angel shakes him head. "I should've known. When I saw her at the house, she was different. The things she said..."

Giles attempts to dig deeper. "What things?"

Angel thwarts it. "It's private."

Jenny ask, "But you didn't know she had turned bad?"

Willow looks at Jenny. "How did you?"

"What?"

Willow shrugs. "Well, you knew. You told me to get away from her."

Jenny covers for herself. "Well, I saw her face."

"If only we knew how it happened." Giles sits on the table

Angel looks back up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, something set it off. Some, some, uh, event must've triggered hers transformation. Well, if anyone would know, Angel, it-it should be you."

"I don't."

"Well, did anything happen last night that, that might...:

"Rupert, please, I can't." Angel gets up and heads for the door.

"Angel, I'm sorry, but we can't afford to... Angel!"

Willow watches Angel run. "Giles, shut up." 

Cordelia is livid. "This is great. There's an unkillable demon in town, Buffy's joined their team, Angel is a basket case... I'd say we've hit bottom."

Xander speaks up. "I have a plan."

"Oh, no, here's a lower place."

"I don't know what's up with Buffy, but I think I may have a way to deal with this Judge guy." Xander sits on the table by Cordelia.

"What do we do?"

"I think, um..." Xander looks at Cordelia, then back at Willow. "I think I may need Cordelia for this one." Willow lowers her eyes for just an instant. "And we may need wheels.

"You should've seen him face. It was priceless." Elizabeth hops up on a conveyor platform and sits. "I'll never forget it."

"So you didn't kill him then."

Elizabeth looks at him like he's nuts. "Of course not." 

Spike exhales. "Now, I know you haven't been in the game for a while, mate, but we still do kill people. Sort of our raison d'etre, you know."

"You don't want to kill him, do you?" Drusilla pokes Miss Edith's eyes "You want to hurt him." She smiles up at her. "Just like you hurt me."

"Nobody knows me like you do, Dru."

"He'd better not get in our way."

"Don't worry about it."

"I do."

"Spike," Elizabeth slams hers hand on a crate, "my boy," She pushes it along the rollers. "You really don't get it!" She stands up. "Do you? You tried to kill him, but you couldn't. Look at you. You're a wreck!"

"He's stronger than anyone you've ever faced." Elizabeth hops off of the platform. "Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this man girl... you have to love him."

****

Showers of your crimson blood   
Seep into a nation calling up a flood   
Of narrow minds who legislate   
Thinly veiled intolerance   
Bigotry and hate 

Several Weeks, Episodes, and Villains later……….

Jenny knocks on the door of Angel's apartment. He opens it, and lets her in. "Has something else gone wrong?"

"No, not yet. Angel, I have something to tell you." Jenny sits down across from him. "I may know what happened to Buffy."

Angel's interest is peeked. "Can it be fixed?"

"Angel, there was a condition on your soul. If you ever experienced a moment of true happiness, the demon would be freed to repossess you." Angel starts to say something, but Jenny cuts him off. "All I can think of is that the demon decided that controlling you wouldn't be enough, and decided to take the one thing that meant more than life itself to you. When it came out of the ether, it was able to enter Buffy, probably due to flesh to flesh contact with you."

Angel's face clouds in despair. "It was me. I did this to her." Something occurs to him. "How did you know this?"  
Jenny takes a deep breath. "I'm a Romani. I was sent here by the Clan to watch over you and keep you from obtaining peace."

Now Angel was angry. "You didn't do a very good job, did you? Can you fix it?"

Jenny nods slowly. "If it had been you, I would have had to translate the texts first, but since Buffy is alive this falls under possession. I can exorcise the demon."

Angel grabs his coat. "Lets go." 

Jenny grabs his arm as they go out the door. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, I didn't know."

Angel looked at her. "I believe you, but it's too late now."

But they tortured and burned you   
They beat you and they tied you   
They left you cold and breathing   
For love they crucified you 

Elizabeth sat with Drusilla cross legged in front of her, brushing her hair. "Did you miss me when I was gone, Dru?"

"Of course I did. Now we're all family again, and we'll dance on the co-" Drusilla stops talking, and looks up towards the catwalk. "Your worse half is here."

Elizabeth got up, and headed up the stairs. "Angel, fancy meeting you here. Come to die?"

Angel shook his head. "We put up with each other for a century. You should know I don't give up that easy. Now get the hell out of my girlfriend."

"I kinda like it here. Nice change of pace after being trapped in that tank of a carcass you have. Buffy's body is much stronger than yours anyway." Elizabeth ran her hand along his jaw and grabbed his chin. "Do you really think you can kill me? I was in your head, I know things Buffy didn't, like how much you wanted to just throw her over a tombstone most night's and-"

"But I don't have to kill you." Angel moved at full speed and grabbed her hands, holding her immobile. He pulled a pair of cuffs from his pocket. "You're a stupid demon, but very soon you'll be a dead demon and neither of us will have to put up with you again."

Elizabeth sneered at him. "Do you really think she'll take you back, Angel? After what you did to her? I've been hunting every night, racking up a body count to be proud of. What's she gonna do when she comes back, that is, besides stake your ass into the sun?"

Angel just shakes his head. "It's not gonna work. You should try it on someone who doesn't know you so well."

Elizabeth growled as Angel carried her out of the factory. "She's a seventeen year old girl, Angel. Do you think she could really love someone like you? One of darkness, one of light and never the-"

I can't forget hard as I try   
This silhouette against the sky 

Scarecrow crying   
Waiting to die wondering why   
Scarecrow trying   
Angels will hold carry your soul away 

"Put a sock in it." They had arrived at the place where Jenny would be doing her ritual. "I don't really want to know where Jenny's sending you, but I hope it's painful."

"Put her in the salt circle, Angel." Jenny directed him as she began to light the candles. "You should have just repossessed Angel, Demon, cause you're really easy to get rid of this way."

"Gypsies are bad enough, but one's like you are disgusting. Your people aren't supposed to care, Janna Kalendrashi. I bet you'll be cast out for this att-" Elizabeth could only glare as Angel gagged her.

"Thank you, Angel. Shall we begin?" Jenny draws some characters in animal blood on Elizabeth, and pulls out her spell book. "Ominis spiritus immunde. In nomine dei. Om-nis spiritus in odorem suavitatis. Tu autem effugare, dia-bole. Appropinquabit enim judicium dei."

Elizabeth began to scream, and her face vamped out. The symbols start to smoke on her skin. She spits the gag out. "You don't deserve to be free. You were nothing before me, Liam O'Rourke, nothing. Do you here me, NOTHING!"

Jenny chants louder. "Omnis spiritus immunde. In nomine dei. Tu autem effugare, diabole. Abrenuntias satanae? Et omnibus operibus eus? Omnibus pompis eus? Exorcie te. Omnis spiritus immunde. Adaperiae!"

****

This was our brother   
This was our son   
This shepherd young and mild   
This unassuming one   
We all gasp this can't happen here   
We're all much too civilized   
Where can these monsters hide 

A bright light bathes Elizabeth, and she howls as she is ripped away, leaving an unconscious Buffy in her wake. Jenny wipes her brow. "It's gone, gone for good. I've banished it to God knows where, and both of you are free now. Take her home Angel, and help her understand."

Angel unlocked the shackles, and scooped Buffy into his arms. He went back to his apartment that had seemed so empty all these weeks without her. Careful of her burns, Angel lay her down on the bed. "Buffy. Buffy, it's time to wake up."

She made a soft sound in the back of her throat, and rolled over. "Go `way. Wanna sleep now."

Angel almost smiled. "Buffy, you have to wake up." He pulls his trump card. "Do it for me?"

Buffy sleepily opened one eye. "Do I have time to go home and shower, or should I go straight to school?"

"You don't remember?" Angel asks, very quietly. 

"What part do you think I don't remember?" Buffy's finger traces over his chest.

But they are knocking on our front door   
They're rocking in our cradles   
They're preaching in our churches   
And eating at our tables 

A ringing phone saved Angel from answering. "Hello?"

Giles voice came through the handset. "Did Jenny's spell work?"

"It worked, but she doesn't remember anything." Angel removed Buffy's hand from his thigh. "In fact, I'm pretty sure she doesn't have any recollection since her birthday."

"What makes you so sure?"

Angel again moved Buffy's roaming hands. "She asked if she had time to go home."

"What every you do, don't let her leave. Joyce will throw a fit if Buffy just up and walks through the door after the attack last week. I'll drop by tomorrow." Giles hangs up, and Angel turns back to Buffy who is examining the burns on her arms.

"How did I get these?" Buffy touches one gingerly. "I don't remember the Judge drawing on me."

Angel motions for her to sit beside him. "Buffy, the Judge has been destroyed."

"How?"

"Xander got me an anti-tank rocket launcher, and we blew him up." Angel gently stroked her face. "You were there Buffy. You just don't remember." 

"What are you talking about? He just got put together less than twelve hours ago." Buffy sat up. "Why am I fully dressed?"

Angel took her hands in his. "It's February, Buffy. You've lost more than a month."

"What else has happened?" Buffy is starting to panic, and something twinkles in the back of her mind.

Angel stops to think. "Xander and Cordelia came out to her friends, after he convinced Amy to cast a spell that caused half the town to fall in love with him. Oh, and Oz is a werewolf and he and Willow are dating."

"Why don't I remember any of this?" Buffy is starting to panic, and a tear runs down her cheek.

Angel pulled her against his chest. "Shhh. It's gonna be okay, it'll come back. Just remember, I love you."

I search my soul   
My heart and in my mind   
To try and find forgiveness   
This is someone child   
With pain unreconciled   
Filled up with father's hate   
Mother's neglect   
I can forgive But I will not forget 

Those words triggered a floodgate of memories in Buffy.

__

"It's what?" Buffy asked. "Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies?" She laughed at him. "Come on, Angel. It's not like I've never been there before. I mean, I grew up a prep in central LA. What did you think we did for fun?" 

"What have I done?" Buffy pulled away from Angel. "I said such horrible things to you, I tried to hurt my friends." Buffy stared at her hands. "I took human life. As soon as I felt the demon enter my body I should have fallen on my stake."

"It's not your fault. It was my demon that possessed you." Angel again takes her hands. "We shared a mind for over a century. He knew exactly how to control you, how to manipulate both of us."

Buffy collapsed against him. She laid her head against his chest, and felt something cool. Her hand went to the chain. "You're wearing a cross."

"Yeah. I touched one in the library last week by accident, and nothing happened. Rupert thinks it's because the demon is no longer in my body at all. The sun still hurts, but that's starting to fade to." Angel removed the pendant from her fingers, and stroked her hair. "We'll talk tomorrow. For tonight, just sleep."

****

Scarecrow crying   
Waiting to die wondering why   
Scarecrow trying   
Rising above all in the name of love

Author's Notes: For the longest time, I'd been toying with the idea of having Angel facing Buffy in the same manner she faced Angelus. My problem was, I was trying to set it post season four. That was my problem. Then, I couldn't sleep last night, and while I was working on an episode in my Edispilf universe, this came to me. If you want a sequel or interlude, you're gonna have to ask, because I have three series in the works, and this story was a result of writers block and insomnia. Tell me what you think at [cobalite@yahoo.com][1].

   [1]: mailto:cobalite@yahoo.com



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